Confession of my New Year's party

I just surfed TV Smith's PRATY blog and decided to put this up.

Actually, I wrote something about my New Year's eve celebration last night but deleted my post for fear of being hauled up for not being the obedient rakyat. In my earlier blog, I did insist that we should party and therefore, I made my New Year's eve celebrations more elaborate than my Christmas eve.

It started with roasted leg of lamb, mashed potato baked with parmesan cheese, peaches and persimmon, camembert cheese and wine at home. Yeah, wine for my teenage kids too. Oh come on! A few sips is not going to kill them for sure. So, we wolfed down the spread without turning on the TV to remind us that millions are suffering without food somewhere far, far away. Alright, I did say a silent word of thanks for the food.

Come 10pm, both father and 5xmom were glued to one computer each and kids were playing on their own. Yawnn....so, I decided to pop into church 'cos it is not healthy to be glued to the computers having cyber affairs like that. Chey..... just joking lar. You think I dare to risk getting my broadband suspended by my ATM (who is the paymaster for RM88 each month)? So, no cyber affairs for me 'cos I love my broadband more.

I am not sure why I love going to church. Probably because I get to be alone for a whole hour plus with no kids screaming for attention or ATM barking orders like mop the floor, fold the laundry, wash the dishes, scratch my back, iron my underwear, massage my feet..... The church is like my escapism. And usually, I do learn many things from the hour plus.

So, what did we do in the Holy Spirit Cathedral? Yeah, we observed the one minute silence. And yikes, one minute is an awfully long time to pass. I was supposed to observe the one minute thinking and praying for the tsunami victims and survivors but my mind keep getting back to thinking about my own little family. Sheesh....that's very selfish of me. Try as I might, I just cannot connect any sombre feelings or able to feel too deep for the 130,000 victims (as at time of mass). I had been to church several times before, crying over some babies who are sick or pleading with God for Him to help some people. I can feel and shed tears for one or two people at a time but not 130,000 or the millions survivors at one go.

Probably, I have a sadistic streak in me. Or maybe, I have a lot of faith. Or it could be, I know what it is like to feel sad for the loss of someone and therefore, have the confidence that these survivors will somehow, someday pick up the pieces and continue living because there is no other way out, no option. At mass, our priest related a conversation he had with a moron (ok, I use the term moron and the rest of these are my own interpretation, ok?) who implied that the tsunami seem to swallow mostly rebels area and that moron see it as a punishment from God. Owh.....that moron ought to be stoned to death (ok, I am just drawing a picture) but not before he has a clearer picture and understanding of the relationship we have with our Creator. The Almighty doesn't punish His subjects. Whether you believe in God or not, I think common sense tells us that the Big Boss up there is not some 3 years old toddler who reared a cage of hamsters, for e.g. and stomped them to death in a fit of anger.

I am glad I went to PRATY (borrowing TV Smith's term). I heard and believed that earth is not perfect and hence, all these tragedies are inevitable. Though a lot of bad things have happened, some good came out of it too. Like how it brings out the generous and compassionate sides of every one of us. In fact, I had written something very enlightening about this many years ago.

So, the whole bunch of us (about 400 people) did have a good time singing o-lang-sai, holding hands, swaying and screaming Happy New Year. We prayed and we partied (albeit a tame one). Ahh.... now I feel so relieved that I did not spend my entire New Year's eve just praying because almost every one did not too.