After ranting about this particular person, I think I have solved the matter.  First, it was perfect timing that I met someone the previous night. It was just a casual bump at the mall while we went for dinner.
But one little carefully worded sentence on an email is enough to give Madam Paranoid the impression that I had met up the guy to plan our world domination.  I said, "Oh don't worry, we met last night and he said he is coming to the meeting."   So, Madam Paranoid probably cooked up a whole cauldron of conspiracy soup in her mind and refused to attend the meeting.  And during the meeting, I finally got to rant in person why I feel hurt that she had put me in a bad light.  No confrontation needed.  And yay, her service is probably not required any further.  Now, that is satisfaction! iRules!
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