Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Love hate relationship with spouses
This photo is specially dedicated to Twinsmom and her Egg Story blog. Twinsmom's funny sister happened to blog about relationship matter and I hope to add on to this love hate relationship with spouses.
Ok, you may wonder why I am showing a plate of beautiful looking black egg. And ouch, got poked by a spear (a tiny fork actually). To our non-Chinese friends, the black egg is called century egg. It is made from chicken egg soaked in ammonia to make them black. It may taste horrible to some, like horse urine smell, but a delicacy to others. Like jelly egg.
How does century egg fit into relationship with spouses? Because we (the few of us crazy women) give funny nicknames to our spouse. For me, it can be ATM (the bank teller machine where money spews out for us to use?) in good times and pot when he turned into a grouch (black like the bottom of the pot). Other names that I had used are Kuan Koong and Pau Koong. These two are Chinese deities/folklore. Kuan Koong has a red face and bad temper. Pau Koong is Justice Pao with black face and I suppose very fierce temper too.
Of course, sweet names like darling, dear, honey and some cannot-be-revealed lovey-dovey names have been used too. But hey, this is life. And life is not a bed of roses. It has some thorns too. I remember when I was very small, my dad used to play one song on those black vinyl what-you-call round disc. (hey, I am NOT that old ok?) The song goes something like this:
I beg your pardon
I never promise you a rose garden
Along with the sunshine
There ought to be a little rain sometimes
So, having an outlet to give naughty nicknames like these somehow help to make the marriage more digestable. I am not somone who looks through rose-tinted glass and believe in fairy tale marriage. I had seen my ex-colleagues, both male and female, cheated on their spouses, friends' marriages broke down and the most trusted men playing three legged stick (kayu tiga). For e.g. one male ex-colleague called his wife, right in front of his staffs, My Fair Lady (uweek), Bunny, Sweetie (more uweek) and few years down the line, was having affair with his assistant. Another female friend conveniently hooked up with a single man while staying married.
In case many people are not aware, the marriages of bereaved parents and parents whose child remained sick for a long time, are the most threatened. I fall into both categorie. But I thank God (and I mean it from the bottom of my heart) that I am not a casualty. I suppose my ability to give funny nicknames helps in a way.
Therefore, I get very sad when I see couples with children who chosed to go separate ways. In our Catholic faith, divorce is not allowed (What God has put together, no man can tear apart). Yet, someone close to my children, had taken this path. Though the woman may need my support at this moment, I am damn mad with myself that I cannot feel any sympathy for her. I feelt sad for the man because he is now living away from his children. I am horribly angry to see children suffer when their parents cannot work out their marriage.
Probably, I will blog more on my thoughts on staying married next time. Meantime, think of some weird names for your spouse/steady boyfriend/girlfriend.
Posted by 5xmom.com at 2:52 AM