Thursday, January 20, 2005

Do you have the housewives' mentality?

I aint no housewife becoz....
  • I marry a man not a house
  • a spinster who keeps house is still call a spinster but why must I be named housewife eventhough I am sexy and attractive enough to bait a man?
  • my house doesn't give me the pleasures my man gives me, so I don't want to be housewife but a manwife
On the road, I certainly aint a housewife becoz
  • I use a car seat and ensure my kids' safety when driving, whilst housewives drive around town like a person walking, with an egg between their legs because their kids are unprotected
  • I can squash two Kancils with my Naza Ria and will not flinch even if my own bumper dropped off but housewives will go to the side of the road to let stupid Kancils overtake
  • I will wind down the window, give the huge, petrol tanker's asshole driver an up yours should he bully me while housewives get bulldozed all the time (and if I have PMS, I will give the management a call to complain about dangerous driving)
  • I don't wear ill-fitting sunglasses, cover all 4 windows with sunshades and rear windscreen (which endanger other motorists) and wear those ugly 'sun shirts' *bleargh*
Definitely, positively,I am 100% NOT a housewife because I don't
  • compare my children with others
  • compare the price of sundry goods like toilet rolls and kotex
  • haggle with poor fishmongers over 20 cents
  • read stupid publications like vernacular papers and cheap women magazines (I read only blogs, marn!)
I am just what I AM because
  • I blog a blog that rocks (alamak, kembang sendiri)
  • I am not afraid of housewives throwing rocks on me ('cos they only know how to take a cloth to clean the dust off the computer, right?)
  • I enjoy Michael Ooi's housewives bashing blog and even cheer him on
  • I get stomach cramps reading Dr Liew's housewives perli-ing blog and think he is the best.
Woohoo! I AM NOT A HOUSEWIFE, GEDDIT?

But wait... are you a housewife? Do you have any of the housewives' traits? Do you get annoyed with Michael Ooi and especially Dr. Liew because you found them inconsiderate in laughing at people like you? Caution : Whether you are male or female, working or not, you may have the housewives' mentality. So, go contemplate..... ARE YOU A HOUSEWIFE?

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